Google thinks you’re boring. Let’s fix that.

Picture this.

You’re walking down a high street full of practitioners. There’s Bella’s Bowen Therapy. Ravi’s Remedial Massage. Anne’s Acupuncture & Bingo Tuesdays. All bustling.

And then… there’s you.

But instead of a shopfront, you’re hiding in a bush holding a handwritten sign that says “I do healing things please ask.”

That, my friend, is what it’s like having no Google visibility.

You might be the absolute dog’s pyjamas of practitioners, but if Google can’t see you, your future clients can’t either. They’re not psychic. They’re just typing "reflexology near me" into their phone while waiting for a flat white.

So unless you want to stay in that metaphorical bush (hey, I don’t judge), here’s how to come out and wave at Google like you mean it.

4 weirdly effective ways to get Google to notice you (without sacrificing a goat)

1.  Get a Google Business page. It’s free. It’s easy. And it’s the digital equivalent of hanging a sign in your window that says "Yes, I exist and I’m excellent." If you haven’t done this yet, pause reading and go do it. I’ll wait. Honestly.

2. Collect five-star reviews like Pokémon. Every time a client leaves happy, ask for a review. Make it part of your ritual, like washing your hands or lighting that weird lavender candle you pretend not to love. Reviews = proof you’re not a scammer. Google eats them for breakfast.

3.  Pin yourself to Google Maps like a very helpful thumbtack. Even if you work from a room above a bakery or a shed next to a goose sanctuary, you can be findable. People need to know kkyou’re local. And not a hologram.

4. Get listed in every online directory you can find. Yell, TrustPilot, industry directories, obscure rating sites your uncle Barry uses. Google checks these like a nosy neighbour peering through the curtains. The more places you pop up — with the exact same info each time — the more it trusts you. This is basically the free, non-soul-destroying version of SEO.

Now, a spicy truth

Paying someone £500 a month to "do SEO" is often like paying a wizard to whisper at your website. It feels mysterious. Nothing really happens. And you're poorer.

Meanwhile, the stuff that actually works is free, local, and extremely boring to talk about at parties.

But do it well, and suddenly you go from invisible shrub-dweller to the go-to person for whatever magical thing you offer.

The takeaway

Google likes:

• Consistent info across directories
• Reviews from real humans
• Knowing where the hell you are

Google dislikes:

• Confusion
• Fake reviews
• Websites that load slower than a hungover snail

Now go ask three clients for a review, check your business name matches on all your listings, and reward yourself with a biscuit.

And maybe… just maybe… come out of the bush.